Act II

SCENE ELEVEN
SY BORG


JOE:
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, give me de chromium leg,
I beg
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, give me de chromium leg,
Little wires, pliers, tires
They turn me on
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm cra/y
Maybe I m crazy,
mon...

Stroking several of SY's gleaming appendages JOE continues...

Gee, Sy
This is a real groovy apartment
You've got here

SY BORG:
All government sponsored recreational services are clean and efficient

JOE:
This is exciting
I never plooked
A tiny chrome-plated machine
That looks like a magical pig
With marital aids stuck all over it
Such as yourself before

SY BORG:
You'll love it!
Its a way of life.

JOE:
Does that mean maybe later
You'll plook me....

SY BORG:
If you wish, we may have a groovy orgy

JOE:
Just me and yon?

SY BORG:
I share this apartment
With a modified
Gay Bob doll
He goes all the way...
Ever try oral sex with a miniature rubberized homo-replica?

JOE:
No, ah, not yet,
Ah, is this him?

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZED
This is him.
Your wish is his command
He likes you
He wants to kiss you always
Just tell him what you want

JOE:
Really?
Hi, little guy
Think I might get a tiny, but exciting
Blow.. .job...
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Blow job...
Gimme dat, give me de chromium cob.

SY BORG:
Bend over.

JOE:
Gay Bob
Blow job
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Blow job
Gimme dat, give me de chromium cob

SY BORG:
You'll love it!
It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47.

JOE:
Little leather cap and trousers
They look so gay..
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Hey...

SY BORG:
Bob is tired.
Plook me now,
You savage rascal
Ehhh!
That tickles.
You are a fun person
I like you.
I want to kiss you always.

JOE:
Gee, this is great
Hows about some bondage and humiliation

SY BORG:
Anything you say, master.

JOE:
Oh no, I don't believe it
You're way more fun than Mary...

SY BORG:
You're plooking too hard...

JOE:
And cleaner than Lucille...

SY BORG:
Plooking on me...

JOE:
What have I been missing
All these years?

SY BORG:
Too hard

JOE:
Sy...

SY BORG:
Too hard

JOE:
Sy...

SY BORG:
Plooking too hard on me-e-e-e-e...

JOE:
Speak to me
Oh no...
The golden shower must have shorted out
His master circuit
He's, he's, oh my God
I must have plooked him...
Hey
To death...
Hey

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...You have just destroyed
one model XOJ-37 Nuclear Powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker.
And you're gonna have to pay for it! So give up, you haven't
got a chance.

JOE:
But I...
I, I, I, I...
I can't pay
I gave all my money
To some kinda groovy religious guy...
Two songs ago...

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
Come on out son...
Between the two of us
We'll find a way to
Work it out