{136210}{136307}And...
{136310}{136372}You talk about|intelligent design...
{136375}{136442}Look at the human body.|It's waste-processing plant
{136445}{136512}Near a recreation area.|How intelligent is that?
{136515}{136623}And they say the platypus was|an animal designed by committee.
{136626}{136678}Was the human body|designed by committee?
{136682}{136727}Was there a group of guys|who designed it?
{136730}{136781}Was the guy going, "Tom,|do you have those designs
{136784}{136823}For the human|reproductive system?"
{136826}{136876}"I do, Ted. Let's show you|what we came up with.
{136879}{136957}Normally with the mammal penis,|we have the retractable.
{136960}{137015}We decided to something|different for the mammal...
{137018}{137056}The male penis for the human.
{137059}{137123}We call it "the collapsible. '|kind of fun.
{137126}{137227}And look at this: Murray came up with|the idea of making the covering optional.
{137231}{137287}Thank you, Murray.|Way to go.
{137291}{137373}When we take the covering off, it's|a little sharp, a little pointy.
{137377}{137425}We need something on the top|to soften it up.
{137428}{137464}Bob, what was your idea?"
{137467}{137543}"a mushroom cap. "|"thank you, Bob.
{137547}{137624}We put the mushroom cap on|the top and it's kind of a tool
{137628}{137695}'cause when it's retracted, it|looks like a little toad stool
{137698}{137788}And when it's erect like a|little soldier... Thank you.
{137791}{137837}And Tim put a piece of sting|up at the top.
{137840}{137895}Thank you, Tim. I guess to|tune it. Thank you, Tim.
{137899}{137979}And we run the semen out|the top and urine through...
{137982}{138045}We also run urine through there.|We call it multitasking,
{138048}{138122}Or "coming and going. '
{138125}{138197}Kind of a fun concept.
{138200}{138297}And initially we just had the|sperm stored inside the penis itself
{138300}{138359}Like a toothpaste tube...|Pbbt! Gone.
{138362}{138443}So we need something to|store it in and produce it.
{138446}{138505}What was your idea, Carl?"|"nuts. "
{138509}{138557}"thank you, Carl.
{138560}{138653}Initially we used walnuts. We've had|good luck with those in the past. "
{138656}{138728}And the human males are going, "we|can't sneak up on the females. "
{138731}{138824}"what do you mean?|Listen. "
{138827}{138894}"got it.
{138897}{138978}Forget the coconuts.|Let's try something different!
{138981}{139052}Bob, what was your idea|to replace them?"
{139055}{139116}"balls. "|"balls! That's it.
{139119}{139188}Who doesn't like balls?|What fun.
{139191}{139286}Initially we used three balls, and here's|some of the tests with the three balls.
{139289}{139343}They were going|everywhere.
{139346}{139410}The male was, like, playing with|the balls, playing with the balls.
{139413}{139491}And we went, "we'd better|put those in a bag. '
{139495}{139560}So we decided to|make a bag
{139563}{139653}And the only thing we had lying|around was some old turkey neck.
{139657}{139728}I said, "use it!|Let's try it. '
{139732}{139855}So...
{139858}{139964}We put the balls in|the turkey neck and, um...
{140012}{140098}It's ugly.
{140102}{140188}I think...
{140191}{140260}Yeach.
{140263}{140344}Next to the asshole, it's one of|the uglier things we made, really.
{140347}{140432}And we got some negative|feedback from the females
{140435}{140518}Who were going, 'we're not going|down there unless you cover that up!'
{140521}{140589}'okay!" so we put|some garnish around it.
{140592}{140694}And initially we made|the hair straight.
{140698}{140761}The females: "my eyes!'|'okay. '
{140764}{140824}Curly! We put curly hair.
{140827}{140914}And initially we put the hair|everywhere... Even the top of the penis.
{140917}{141058}And it looked like my uncle|Phil. Like, "hey, how are you?'
{141061}{141130}So we just went with|a topiary thing,
{141134}{141177}Which was kind of fun.
{141180}{141243}And then the females went,|'we'll go down there now. '
{141246}{141303}Thank you, ladies.|Thank you.
{141306}{141393}Which is cool because you can|start the penis orally... Thank you;
{141396}{141493}Manually... Thank you,|Manuel, for finding that out;
{141496}{141584}Finger in the ass...|Ted found that out.
{141587}{141675}He said it was|an accident.
{141678}{141734}Kidder.
{141737}{141835}And if you play with the balls,|the penis likes that.
{141838}{141875}It's kind of fun.
{141878}{141941}But we did find out a negative|thing about the balls.
{141944}{141999}If you hit them|really hard,
{142002}{142086}It's a total|system reset.
{142115}{142214}It's like...
{142217}{142286}If it was a slot machine, it|would pay. It was kind of rough.
{142290}{142374}But that's essentially|the design for the penis.
{142377}{142443}Initially we gave the male|about 800 sperms
{142446}{142513}And those were gone|in a millisecond.
{142516}{142610}And now we give him 8 to 9 billion,|and he shoots them everywhere:
{142613}{142681}Tits, drapes.
{142684}{142786}We found some on the ceiling.|Those are the overachievers.
{142789}{142861}We hope some make it|to the vagina.
{142864}{142938}In terms of the vagina, Carl's|in charge of the vagina project.
{142941}{142998}Carl, what did|you come up with?"
{143001}{143048}"well, normally with|the mammal vagina,
{143051}{143100}You have the genital ślit|or opening.
{143103}{143143}We decided to accessorize it. "
{143147}{143198}"what did you accessorize|it with, Carl?"
{143201}{143254}"curtains.
{143258}{143369}We just thought it makes it less of|an opening and more of a show, really.
{143373}{143483}Kind of... We had some old lips|lying around. We said, "try those!
{143486}{143537}Let's give it a go. '
{143541}{143637}And initially we made it|horizontal, and...
{143640}{143712}The damn thing talked.
{143804}{143869}It was weird.
{143914}{143968}And the first time it talked,|the males were going,
{143971}{144046}'I'm not going down there|if it talks!
{144049}{144150}I've already got one opinion down|here! I don't need a second one!'
{144153}{144215}Fine.
{144219}{144310}So now we made it vertical|and now it just farts.
{144313}{144396}So... And the first time|it went, it was like...
{144400}{144457}'easy, big fella. '
{144460}{144519}And the asshole got offended,|saying, "that's my job!'
{144522}{144585}'okay, hold on.
{144588}{144658}Yours will smell.|Not to worry. Not to worry. '
{144661}{144757}But we needed something kind of|special... One last little thing
{144761}{144842}That would really work. And Clint|came up with a brilliant idea.
{144845}{144928}And I think we're gonna name|it... It's kind of wonderful.
{144931}{144968}Clint, what was your idea?"
{144971}{145028}"a doorbell. "|"thank you, Clint.
{145031}{145128}You ring the doorbell, the|curtains open. It's kind of fun.
{145131}{145245}Some guys can't find it. Others|don't know when to stop ringing it.
{145248}{145341}But you ring the doorbell,|the curtains open,
{145345}{145437}The penis goes inside. And Tom|worked out some choreography
{145441}{145526}For the balls that's|kind of fun. That's really...
{145738}{145805}It gets everything|ready to go.
{145808}{145893}And the sperms fly out up into|the human female.
{145896}{145955}She carries the egg.|Normally we gave it...
{145958}{146012}We tried first giving|the egg to the male.
{146015}{146078}He kept losing it.|And we went, "fine. '
{146081}{146144}We gave it to the female.|She carries it.
{146147}{146227}And then we thought, 'the male will|be in charge of feeding the infant. '
{146230}{146302}We gave the human male|two breasts.
{146305}{146383}And the male is like, "ha!'|'okay, nipples. That's all. '
{146387}{146480}We thought, "the female will be in|charge of feeding the infant too. '
{146483}{146540}So we gave her six breasts|like a mammal.
{146544}{146612}And the male was like,|'ha ha! Ah ha ha!'
{146615}{146699}'two hands, two tits!|That's it. '
{146740}{146843}And so the female will,|carry the infant to term'
{146846}{146912}And it will come out|through the curtains.
{146915}{146980}And they get wide...
{146983}{147082}Like Broadway.
{147085}{147146}And she'll also|feed the infant.
{147149}{147214}The male will assist.|Ha ha!
{147250}{147337}But we do have one major|design flaw.
{147340}{147413}We've tried to wire|the penis to the conscience
{147416}{147478}And it keeps|short circuiting. "
{147481}{147555}And it's weird too...|The whole thing.
{147558}{147613}I mean, every since I was|a little boy, it was like,
{147616}{147684}The first time I was cleaning|it, it went off. "I'm sorry!"
{147687}{147744}And then later on|it was like, breasts.
{147747}{147809}"breasts breasts!|Aha ha ha!"
{147812}{147868}Vagina.|"vagina vagina!"
{147872}{147955}And by the time you get|to be 58,
{147958}{148030}It gets a little|more difficult.
{148033}{148113}"okay, here's what|you gotta do:
{148117}{148193}You put a sparkler|in your ass.
{148197}{148288}I'll set my pubic hair|on fire.
{148292}{148379}You put on a German|army helmet.
{148382}{148469}You jump off the couch|yelling, "fire in the hole!'
{148472}{148557}That might work.|I don't know. "